Thirteen

Thirteen is considered to be an unlucky number by some. In 1911, there was even a word coined to describe the fear that some people developed due to it's unlucky reputation. But I don't consider it to be unlucky. I'm not superstitious or anything, knock wood. In fact, 13 holds some pretty good memories for me.

For instance, when I turned thirteen, I asked for a Casio Databank watch for my birthday. It was SOOO cool. Not only did it have a calculator, it also stored telephone numbers. It even had a function to PASSWORD protect up to 10 telephone numbers. 'Cause, you know, a 13 year old has certain... sensitive... phone numbers he might want to... um... protect from... er... prying eyes who happened to have access to a device he wore on his wrist most of the time. Okay, so, in reality, it wasn't as suave and debonair as I first thought, but it was still a really cool (read: geeky) watch.




Anyhow, 13 holds no unfortunate connections, references or tidings in my mind. In fact, on July 6th, 13 will be a very happy number for me because it will mark the number of years that Amelia and I have been married. So, at the risk of being teased for my blogging, I present to you, my wife, and you, my readers: 13 lists of 13 things regarding 13 subjects that I spent at least 13 minutes working on so that 13 people might be impressed about the importance of this, the 13th anniversary of the date of my marriage to Amelia, which if pulled would destroy the world, the universe and everything in it.... whoops... wrong joke; seriously, I am thirteen times more determined to mention 13 exactly 13 times before I formally end this "thirteen" themed sentence than I was 13 minutes ago when I came up with idea for this love note to my wife of (almost) 13 years: Happy 13th, Hunny.

List the first: 13 things I love about being married to Amelia.
1) I love doing the dishes. Not all the time, not universally... but I love the fact that there is something that Amelia REALLY doesn't like to do and I can do it for her.
2) I love travelling with Amelia.
3) I love the clothes she buys for me so I don't have to shop.
4) I love playing board games with Amelia, even when my win/loss record for Boggle is 1/3 gajillion.
5) I love giving her massages.
6) I love snuggling and watching movies at home in bed with popcorn and M&Ms.
7) I love listening to her sing.
8) I love the fact that though she is probably vastly more intelligent that I, she still makes me feel smart.
9) I love how Am sticks her tongue out when she is really concentrating on something.
10) I love that she likes to scrapbook and has chronicled our life together over the years.
11) I love the memories we've made together.
12) I love the babies we've made together (!). :)
13) I love her tolerance of "Emery time", adding at least 30 minutes to any estimate that I give her of when I'll be through/ready/finished/home.

List the second: 13 phrases Amelia says
1) I love you, hunny.
2) Thanks for doing the dishes.
3) Come look at what I've scrapped.
4) The kids need new clothes.
5) Guess what Ele did today...
6) Pirate!
7) Nobody will play Boggle with me.
8) *sigh* I've got to get some laundry done.
9) (quoting the movie, French Kiss) "My ass is twitching. You people make my ass twitch."
10) (again with the quotes) "Fester, fester, fester. Rot, rot, rot."
11) Check your blood sugar.
12) What's for dinner? Shaddupandeatit.
13) I'm more comfortable than you are.

List the third: 13 items within reach of Amelia's bedside
1) The latest book(s) she is reading.
2) Tylenol, advil and at least three glasses that she's brought to bed but neglected to take to the kitchen the next morning.
3) M&Ms or some other candy.
4) The TV remote
5) Kleenex
6) (at least overnight 80% of the time) one of the kids, sleeping on a palette on the floor.
7) A flashlight
8) Massage lotion
9) A lamp
10) Decorative pillows that adorn the bed on the rare occasions it actually gets made up.
11) Debris from pockets that have been turned out when she's changed clothes.
12) Her glasses
13) Her hunny. :)

List the fourth: 13 things Amelia likes to do.
1) Travel
2) Watch certain movies in the background while doing something else
3) Scrapbook.
4) Spend time with good friends
5) Bake
6) Decorate (and eat) sugar cookies.
7) Spend quality time with the kids
8) Voraciously read.
9) Correct grammar. :)
10) Play board/card/dice games.
11) Be involved with meaningful activities: School supply drive; teaching Bible class, charity work.
12) Mixed Martial Arts.
13) Sleep.

List the fifth: 13 things Amelia doesn't like
1) Bad grammar
2) Doing dishes.
3) Working all the time so that she has no time to do other things.
4) Having a headache all the time.
5) The unfortunate reality that the laundry is never done.
6) Times when children's fussiness overextends her patience.
7) Diabetes
8) Milk
9) Late fees for library books.
10) The way in which it only takes 13 nanoseconds to messify a child's room she just spent hours cleaning and straightening.
11) Administrative bureaucracy
12) Nasal congestion
13) Not having her hunny at home.

List the sixth: 13 places Amelia has been with Jeff
1) Rome, Italy
2) Kress, Texas
3) North Platte, Nebraska
4) London, England
5) Plainview, Texas
6) Denver, Colorado
7) Enid, Oklahoma
8) Cloudcroft, New Mexico
9) Paris, France
10) Lubbock, Texas
11) Eindhoven, The Netherlands
12) Kaiserslautern, Germany
13) Innsbruck, Austria

List the seventh: 13 jobs Amelia has performed (for fun or for profit)
1) Wife
2) Mother
3) English Teacher
4) Burger King worker
5) Bible class teacher
6) Classified Ads sales star
7) School Supply Drive coordinator
8) Retail sales manager
9) Office Supply store worker
10) Youth Minister (I was only the front man, Amelia did lots of the behind the scenes support work)
11) Editor
12) Graphic designer
13) Supermodel - seriously... ask to see her portfolio

List the eigth: 13 Memories I have of our wedding day
1) Heat (It was July 6th in Texas, after all)
2) The Sherriff looking for the escaped prisoner.
3) Corn Dog breath
4) My best man and little sister, in collusion, supergluing the ribbons tying the rings to the pillow so they wouldn't come undone easily.
5) My nephew stowing away in our getaway car, forcing us to drive back and dump him in the parking lot.
6) Losing my breath at the sight of Amelia entering the room.
7) Writing our own vows and having Amelia try to insert my promise to continue to love her..."In floorings and in wall coverings"
8) Rikki Lane fixing us a "to go" basket because neither of us got to eat at the reception
9) Being skinny *sigh*
10) Tuxedo mix-ups
11) Phil crying during the ceremony.
12) Using Dad's ring during the ceremony (mine was stuck on the pillow, remember?)
13) The kiss

List the ninth: 13 pictures of Amelia I happen to have on my hard drive right now.
(it was easier to upload the pics and insert a slideshow here of 13 pictures)



List the tenth: 13 gifts I wish I could give Amelia
1) A trip to the Great Barrier Reef. I know this is on your bucket list
2) A new wedding ring (with some sort of insurance against accidental loss)
3) A operating budget at work. I know you would do even more amazing things, given the resources.
4) A surprise party with all her favorite people from all the corners of the world.
5) A cure for Diabetes
6) A lifetime supply of Reese's PB Cups
7) All the cool scrapbooking toys she wants.
8) A house to decorate and live in.
9) Maid service
10) A new(er) vehicle
11) A laptop
12) Extra time in her day so that she can do what she *wants* to do.
13) A trip to San Antonio with her favorite husband and kids. (1 out of 13... whew).

List the eleventh: 13 hats Amelia wears at work
1) Assistant Manager
2) Web master
3) Receiver
4) Stocker
5) Cashier
6) Accounts Receivable
7) Opener
8) Closer
9) Graphic Designer
10) Special Order Clerk
11) Bible imprinter
12) Underpaid, under appreciated employee
13) Special Events organizer
(Yes, I know that other people work there, too... but Amelia is pretty amazing with all the hats she wears there.)

List the twelfth: 13 things Amelia does in a typical day.
1) Showers
2) Checks the kid's blood sugar and administers insulin
3) Cooks a meal
4) Works an 8 hour (at least) day.
5) Mixed Martial Arts workout
6) Reads to relax
7) Laundry
8) Runs to Wal-mart (sometimes multiple times a day)
9) Organizes some extra-curricular activity (bible class, scrapbooks, plans for the kids to do something, etc)
10) Wears cute socks
11) Checks her email/facebook/jde95f.blogspot.com :)
12) Tells me, "I love you, hunny."
13) Falls into bed, exhausted but able to read just a few chapters in a book.

List the thirteenth: 13 Web links that Amelia likes (and you might enjoy, too)
1) http://www.failblog.org
2) http://www.facebook.com
3) http://www.theonion.com
4) http://www.aes.acu.edu
5) http://www.hulu.com
6) http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com
7) http://comics.com/pearls_before_swine/
8) http://www.aslpro.com
9) http://graphjam.com/
10) http://www.jdrf.org
11) http://www.acu.edu
12) http://www.bartleby.com/
13) And a good way to round out a list of 13s, a list of websites and the theme of love: (CLICK HERE)

So, as you sit and wonder what possessed you to read such a long post... as you ponder what possessed me to compose such a mash-up of lists... know this:

I LOVE AMELIA. With all I have, with all I am... for the past thirteen years and for a lifetime to come. Happy 13th, hunny.

-jeff

A Perfect Dozen

Chin up, hunny.

Amelia has learned, like the kids have, that when I have the camera out, she just needs to humor me. So, when I pointed the camera at her and commanded, "Smile!" She graced me with the above photo.

12 years ago today, we stood before a group of family and friends and vowed to support, cherish, love, put up with and otherwise endure the passage of time with each other. I would like to point out that the woman in the picture above is NOT the woman I married. Shocked? Read on...

The woman I married 12 years ago was kind and generous. She was smart and quick to laugh. She worked hard and saw things through. She was helpful, gracious, and gifted. The woman that I wake up to each morning is not the same. She is more. Much more.

In twelve years, she has become a closer friend, a confidant. She's seen me at my worst and taken me by the hand and helped me to stand again. She has taken my shattered ego and put it back together. Amelia had to learn to see past the facade I put up and see the real me and she kept loving me through it all.

In twelve years, Amelia has become more beautiful to me. I asked her tonight if she considered herself to be beautiful. She told me that she did... to some extent, except when she is 'frumpy' (which she claims lasts most of the winter). But in my eyes, her beauty is unsurpassed. It encompasses not just her outward beauty (her eyes, her smile, her freckled shoulders, her shapely legs, etc), but her Christian spirit as well. If ever I need to see compassion, grace, courtesy, hospitality, hope, joy, endurance, patience... I don't have to look farther than my wife.

In twelve years, she has changed from being my best friend to being my wife to being the mother of my daughter, Mary Hannah, my son, Ethan, and my youngest girl, Eleanor. Motherhood has triggered some changes in Amelia. She is more patient, more loving, more diligent, more steadfast. What an even more amazing woman she's become!

In twelve years, my wife has organized my life as we moved from Abilene to Coleman back to Abilene to Plainview to Enid (3x in Enid alone!) back to Abilene. Amelia has encouraged me to persevere with my dreams and seen in me strengths I didn't know I possessed. Her gentle loving has wrought great changes in me.

In twelve years, this incredible woman has adapted to everything that life has thrown at us and has helped us forge a family. We've had our share of hardship (both natural and self-inflicted) but she keeps us going. She is not the woman I married, and, thank the Lord, I'm not the man she thought she was getting. God has been good to us. God IS good to us, everyday.

Thank you, God for this woman, Amelia. Thank you for giving her eyes to see me despite my attempts to cover up. Thank you for giving her a heart to love me and our children even when she's worn out and at her breaking point. Thank you for molding and shaping her and forming her every day in your image. Thank you for the past twelve years, Father. Help us to live each day for you.

I love you, Amelia. Thank you for being you, every day. You are the woman I love today, tomorrow and always.


We ate at Outback Steakhouse on our honeymoon and here we are, celebrating our 12th anniversary.


Behold, the empty plate, formerly known as a plate of Aussie Cheese Fries.

Happy Anniversary!

Today is my 11th anniversary. I'm not the most romantic guy, but I try not to be a schlub, either. So, I just got off the phone with the florist. Why can't daisies be the flower of love? *sigh* Really, I don't mind spending the money on roses, after all, my baby is worth a bajillion roses to me, so dropping a little bit of money isn't the issue. Amelia wouldn't mind if I got her roses or daisies or alstromerias. But the point of getting roses is not to swoon over the roses. If that were the case, horticulturists all over the world would be swooning everyday. The point of getting roses is for *other people* to see you getting roses. Be honest, isn't getting flowers at work all about the display of affection? You want your co-workers to stop by your desk and ask, "Wow, who sent the roses?" The sender intends the presentation to be the actual gift to you. It makes you the center of attention all day. Sending roses is a public declaration that you are loved by another.

Truth be told, you don't have to look far to see that Amelia and I love each other. I don't mean that we are disgustingly affectionate in public. I just think that if you spend much time with us at all, you'd be able to see it in how we treat each other. We're consistently kind and respectful. We like to hold hands and talk to each other. We're considerate of each other and usually try to put the other person first. We talk about how our days went while we cook dinner and try not to "fix" things, but just listen. We share a common sense of humor and punnery, and after 11 years, we can even guess where the other person is going with a joke. We absolutely adore our children and feel that they are a blessing every day. Even when we get frustrated with parenting, we lean on each other for support and hand off the parental duties to the parent best suited to handle the situation.

For 11 years, I've tried to best her in Boggle (and failed). For 11 years, we've bookmarked the other's place in a book and tried to see who would finish it first. For 11 years, we've laughed and played and struggled and endured and loved and cried and celebrated and despaired and carried and birthed and slept and woken up together.

When I got married, I was clueless about how much fuller and richer my life would be. I couldn't imagine being able to love any more than the love I had for Amelia. Then we had Mary Hannah and my heart expanded to make room for the love I had for her. Then we had Ethan and I was amazed to learn that I could fully love my wife, fully love my daughter and fully love my son. I was running at 300% love production for my family. Then we had Eleanor. It was around this time that I learned a truth about love: Because God is love and God is infinite, love is infinite. If you can comprehend the love that flows from God and allow it to be the model for the love in your life, you will find that unlike physical things, bound by physical laws of space and time, it is literally possible to give away all the love you have and at the same time get it back ten fold.

That is why I can say that I try every day to give Amelia all my love, knowing that she will return it to me, refined and focused and fuller and more robust. That is what we have together. A deep, abiding, powerful and ever increasing love for each other.
That is the type of love that makes it a bit easier to endure when we have our low moments. Yes, we do argue (rarely). Sometimes I'm moody and sometimes she's out of sorts. But by and large, our good moments not only outnumber our bad moments, but they outshine them as well. When I think back over 11 years, I have a lifetime of great memories and stories and happy feelings... and it's only been 11 years.

So, if roses are for other people to see how much you love your spouse, then this letter is, in kind, a way to shout to the world that I love this woman. I love Amelia. Unabashedly, completely and without reservation. She is my soul-mate, my muse, my help and my partner. She is the mother of our children and the keeper of my heart. She motivates me to be better. She humbles me with her generous spirit. She soothes me when I'm upset and feeds me when I'm hungry. She brushes off my compliments when I tell her how beautiful she is, but she likes to get dolled up and go out when we have the occasion. She completes me. Amelia is a gift from God to help me be.

So today, 11 years later, I just want to proclaim to the world what I said in front of the crowd at our wedding: I love Amelia. She is my lover, my friend, my wife.